u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
