did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
