Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
home. puking in laundry basket.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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