Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
