Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
