Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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