I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
