So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
