Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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