haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
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