So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize