Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
