Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize