a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I need to calm my uterus...
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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