How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I think I died a long time ago.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Randomize
