Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize