Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
