It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
