yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
