Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
