I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
did i just pee glitter
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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