jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
