I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
