Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
