My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
