Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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