Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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