She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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