Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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