i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
