Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I'm always down for nudity.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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