I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
You were trust falling into bushes
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