my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
