Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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