Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
