a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
vagina is talking i cant
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
