Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
