Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
