was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
