i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
