apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize