Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
God, I missed his penis.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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