Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
