I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
