GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
