Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
