Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
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