I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
