6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
