So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
