PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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