I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Its about making memories worth repressing
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
