He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
