whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
