I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I think a kid would responsible me up
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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