I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
