That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
