He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
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