I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
