May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
