problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
