It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
